Tuesday, June 23, 2020

MUSINGS WHILE SHELTERING IN PLACE


June 22, 2020




Most mornings find me seated on the patio, steaming, fragrant, coffee in hand, and resting in my lap, Jill LePore’s THESE TRUTHS a History of the United States.  I alternate between reading and connecting with the world beyond words on a page-- watching for high flying jets tracing contrails across the sky (very few in these times), smaller planes arriving and departing from our local airport, the Embry-Riddle training planes circling the airport in lazy circles, bird song, the color of the sky, shape of clouds, purple sage pushing forth flowers, moles crawling tentatively from holes before popping back in, rabbits, squirrels and chipmunks foraging in our yard and quail, always quail.  But this morning was special, my first sighting of quail babies, scurrying across the hillside beyond our wall, fragile yet brave as they perform their first reconnaissance of their new world.





And then I begin reading where I left off yesterday morning.  Within a few lines, I see the date June 22, 1860 exactly 160 years ago from today.  On this day the Democratic Party split in two—northern and southern factions.  And so began the dissolution of our Union--fragile from the start-- and the inexorable, or so it seemed, march to war.  
 
Stephen Douglas won the nomination from the northern faction of the Democratic Party and John Breckenridge for the southern faction.  The southern faction pro slavery and the northern against the southern push to extend slavery beyond the south.
Lincoln running on the Republican ticket of course won.  (Please note the Democratic and Republican Parties of the 1860’s are very different entities from their 21st century namesakes.) Six weeks later South Carolina seceded and the lower south all the way to Texas followed. In February 1861 the Confederate States of America formed with former Mississippi senator Jefferson Davis as president--“a man the Texan Sam Houston once called ‘as ambitious as Lucifer and as cold as a lizard.’”  

Lincoln won every northern state including all six states where the Lincoln/ Douglas (not Stephen but rather Frederick) debates took place and all four states in which black men could vote.

 

As I read these paragraphs I am struck by the similarities we face as our presidential election draws ever closer.  Like the 1860’s headlines proclaim our divisions, protests scream our differences, and social media explodes with violent rhetoric.   In the 1860’s, without radio, the Internet and social media, the speed of communications depended on word of mouth, newspapers and the fairly recently created telegraph system.  While speed and density of communications of those times were no match for today, still ideas did spread.  Citizens gathered by the thousands, standing for hours in the sun, to hear the Lincoln/Douglas debates, reporters reported, citizens wrote letters to family and friends, and in time diary entries would find their way into history books like the one I am reading.  But today the speed of dissemination of information is breathtaking.  The phone, radio, even broadcast and cable TV cannot outpace the Internet characterized by anonymity and intimacy by turns.

 

The information age has, like almost any construct, proven to be a double edged sword.  It serves both the ignorant and the informed, the stupid and the intelligent, the compassionate and the heartless, the criminal and the lawful, the bigoted and the tolerant, those who want to return and cling to the past and those who want to move into and embrace the future, etc., etc., ad nauseam.

Three hundred pages into a 782 page history of our nation, I find on almost every page that if names and dates were changed I could be reading some action, some idea, some turn of phrase that has sprung forth from headlines just in the past few weeks.  The lack of logical thinking, the self-serving greed, the manipulation of facts, the suppression of free speech, the hatred, the short term thinking, the lack of empathy, continues unabated.  And if one looked only at headlines one would assume we’ve made no progress.  The promise of the fine words in our Declaration of Independence and our Constitution, written by flawed men remains unfulfilled.

Progress?  Yes, Of course.  But when citizens line up against one another, when the police and National Guard are called, when words fail us, when debate devolves into shouting matches, when our leader encourages violence, the breaking of the law, and sounds like a five year old when he speaks or writes, I have to wonder if the country that was built on high flying ideas, broken by slavery and blood, and rebuilt again by promises that in practice have left so very many of us without—I have to wonder—where will be on June 22, 2021?  Will our crumbling institutions continue to weaken while a criminal occupies the White House?  Or will we, like the survivors of our Civil War, awaken to the horrors of the past 4 years, elect someone with a brain, experience and compassion and find a year from now that we are healing?  Will we then recognize the opportunity we’ve given ourselves by casting a vote for progress and keep an eye on the future as we deal with the present, recast our views, open ourselves to our neighbors next door and in the next nation over and around the world?


In the distant past tribes came together in trade and created alliances.  That pattern has continued and yet we still remain so afraid of the Other.  America, under Trump, has withdrawn from the world.  He sits in the oval office pouting,
arms crossed, lower lip out, eyes narrowed and eyebrows lowered as he rants about anything that threatens his self-image.  He is incapable of a cogent thought, of speaking in full sentences with multi-syllabic words, of simply looking beyond the self.  


As I read the following excerpt today from Lincoln’s first Inaugural address, considered the most eloquent in American history, I could not help contrasting it in my mind with Trump’s performance in Tulsa this past Saturday.  Lincoln writes:

We are not enemies, but friends.  We must not be enemies.  Though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection.  The mystic chords of memory, stretching from every battlefield and patriot grave to every living heart and hearthstone all over this broad land, will yet swell the chorus of the Union, when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.
Abraham Lincoln,  March 4, 1861 First Inaugural Address
 

As Lepore points out in the next line, “The better angels did not prevail.  Debate had failed.”  Even the date, March fourth/forth, seemed to presage the war on the horizon.  Words became weapons and too soon weapons replaced words on battlefields from North Dakota to Florida, from Pennsylvania to the New Mexico Territory.


                                                 Battle of Gettysburg

Today we are once again at war with ourselves and now we battle a faceless enemy, too small to see with the naked eye, but powerful enough to bring this nation to its knees.  Our misplaced pride in ‘rugged individualism’, our belief in a concept of freedom that says we may behave in ways that bring illness even death to those around us—these views combined with a president who foments violence among us and behavior counter to advice from public health officials account for protests across the country and almost 120,000 deaths from the virus--at this writing.



 
      George Washington Wears a Mask 
          to Protect Himself and Others

If this failure of a president, Donald J. Trump, continues past Jan. 2021, we could be forgiven for thinking that the promise of 1776 has evaporated.

The Democrats of 1860 split in two, thus undermining any chance at beating Lincoln.  Thank God they did so.  But the Democratic party of 2020 must not succumb to any actions that favor the return of Trump to the White House.  Let’s make sure moving vans show up next January to rid the White House of this execrable excuse for a human.  Do not throw your vote away even out of principle.  There is too much at stake to get your panties in a twist.  Democrats and Independents, and every color of party out there, unite and vote Trump out of office.



I leave you with these words as does Dr. Lepore on the last page of her remarkable book…

If we should perish, the ruthlessness of the foe would be only the secondary cause of the disaster.  The primary cause would be that the strength of a giant nation was directed by eyes too blind to see all the hazards of the struggle; and the blindness would be induced not by some accident of nature or history
 but by hatred and vainglory.
--Reinhold Niebuhr
The Irony of American History
1952
Be Safe; Be Well
Gail Mangham  June 22, 2020

While editing this blog on July 31, 2025 I have no words other
than to say I ride the whiplash pendulum of history
from despair to hope--over and over. 

Sunday, April 19, 2020

My Second Mother



It’s been a week since my Aunt Wilda (pronounced wowlduh) died Easter morning.  She is the last of the four women who had a hand in rearing me:  Jackie Williams, my mother’s landlady, my mother Constance Dyson, my step-mother Emily Burroughs and finally my Aunt Wilda, who was my second mother and influenced me most in my formative years.  My Uncle J.T., her husband, used to say we were like two billy goats locking horns.  Though our love ran deep we often had differences of opinion and we were both married to our viewpoints. 

So many memories—hot, humid summer days and nights in Houston when I would sneak into the hallway from my sweaty sheets and turn the attic fan timer for another blessed ten minutes.  I know my aunt knew I was doing this.  She seldom missed anything.  But she never said a word.  Sitting in the tiny kitchen with my cousin and aunt and uncle enjoying a dinner of southern cooking, Japanese Fruit Cake at Christmas, corn bread dressing and pecan pie at Thanksgiving, homemade ice cream on the 4th of July, trips to a nearby river for a picnic and a cooling dip, outings to Galveston where sunburn was inevitable.  Hamburgers and fries on Saturdays from the Whataburger,  sojourns to the drive-theater Saturday evening, thumbing through the Sears Roebuck Catalogue with a red pencil checking those items we liked. 



And bless her heart she taught me to sew.  Her patience was bottomless in this endeavor.  Indeed the joke in our family has been if I get out the sewing machine, we put a divorce lawyer on retainer just in case I lose it.  I am not a happy seamstress.  But my auntie’s encouragement leavened with a just-get-on-with-it stance ensured that I could actually make clothes. I also learned to cook from her, but just as my uncle surpassed my aunt in the kitchen, my own husband has far outstripped my culinary skills.
 
 In the 75 years I knew my aunt I only saw (actually heard) her cry once.  It was during the Vietnam War and she had not heard from Steve-- her son--for some time and was scared witless.  She called me thinking that my husband, who was in the Marine Corps at the time, might be able to find out if her son was OK.  Her voice broke across the telephone lines from Houston to Boston.  Me, I’m a crier and even as I type this I weep.  It had only been a few months since I was on the opposite side of such a conversation.

 My aunt was a practical person.  She always sought the most efficient path to accomplish any task.   Once that path was found, it was the best way so why would one entertain another way.  Horns Locked—not because I had a better way.  No, I rebelled against the notion that there was only one way, that I could not take a left turn and explore the unknown.   To this day I will leave myself open to a swift change of path or focus.  Admittedly Auntie dear, this does not always work out as well as I hope.  

She was not a Pollyanna. Her motto might have been, Straighten Up and Fly Right.  I often imagine her knocking the collective heads of humanity together,  saying to one and all in that no nonsense, brook no opposition voice, “Get over it!  Move on!  Just do it!”  She had no patience for fools, for those easily duped by politicians, true believers, advertisements, and scammers.

By 2008 she had lost her husband and all her siblings.  The last of seven, Aunt Wilda lived with Alzheimer’s  from this period to her death a week ago.  Her son my cousin cared for her for twelve years.   She had watched two other sisters develop and die with complications from Alzheimer’s and dreaded the thought of developing it.  But it sneaked up on her, robbing her of memory slowly but steadily until she did not even understand that she had the disease she so dreaded.

She will always be with me.  Often when I’m angry and narrowly focused with tension throughout my body I speak with her voice, the jaw tightening, the consonants sharpening as they embrace sliding vowels.  Sometimes I can feel her take over my body.  My posture, a gesture, my walk become hers and a feeling of aching nostalgia rises.  Her inhabiting of me is always from a period in her life when she bestrode the world as a member of The Greatest Generation, when the future was limitless, when her mind was razor sharp, when her laughter brightened my world.   She was always there for me when my mother could not be. She and my Uncle J.T. gave me a safe, loving home and a cousin who is more brother than cousin. I will always be grateful.

Rest in Peace Aunt Wilda

Wilda Dyson Harper  (Wilda pronounced as in the word wild)
Born January 1, 1927  Montgomery Louisiana
Died April 12, 2020 in Humble Texas

er
Circa 1946 Nineteen Years Old
Post Script  My cousin Steve developed Alzheimer's a few months after 
his mother's death, succumbing October 10, 2024.
I think I am the only remaining cousin of my generation. 
Edited  July 31, 2025 
 
 




Saturday, July 13, 2019

For My Sisters Around the World


I have three very disparate connections to Afghanistan and yet there is a common thread to be found in these.  First back in the ‘70’s on a visit to Bahrain from Saudi Arabia, a general in the Afghan army tried his version of the 20th century hookup.  In a brief conversation-- and I don’t remember where this happened precisely-- he made it clear what he wanted.  I brushed him off playing the wide eyed innocent and retreated to my hotel room.




In 2003 I was in a beauty salon in the Middle East and struck up a conversation with an Afghan woman.  With a sudden 180˚ turn and naked candor she told me she wished she had never married her Afghan husband, that the only good that came of it was her son whom she cherished.  This was not new.  Other women in other Islamic countries had shared this view with me.

In 2005-2007 my husband was Chief of Party for the Higher Education Project for USAID.  Much of his work had to do with improving higher education for women especially in the outlying provinces.  His tenure was fraught with danger in some instances,  but also filled with great admiration for the women in higher ed who daily worked for their ‘sisters’ and their right to an education while risking their lives in doing so.

When I left Saudi Arabia in the waning days of 1981, and 2 short years since the Iranian Revolution, I really thought the next revolution in SA would be a women’s revolution.  At the time of my departure a 13 year old girl was the victim of an honor killing.  She had brought shame on the family.  An uncle had impregnated her.  How could this continue?

Almost 40 years later we see some progress, but women still suffer in many of the same ways that the women of Afghanistan suffer today.  Yes there has been progress. In my almost 5 year tenure in SA, Western women had been given the right to drive on the ARAMCO compound by the king.  And today Saudi women can finally drive despite, though some early activists for this right still reside in prison for speaking out and driving without the blessing of the king.  And while there has been progress in other areas since that time, the domination of males over females remains.  

As long as the honor of the family resides in the vagina of a woman she is at risk of an honor killing.  As long as women are not protected by law from male members of their family who interpret Islam through the narrow lens of outmoded traditions and customs, women’s lives will remain so bound up--their very existence at so much risk-- that only the rare few women, willing to die for their sisters for their daughters for the mothers will stand up to male authority.

When the human species is so hidebound by custom and by the fear of losing its place in the pecking order whether as individuals or nations, the world view will always be so blinkered, so parochial that the wheels of change will like Sisyphus labor to little avail.



So to all my sisters around the world who struggle daily to feed, clothe, shelter, keep safe and educate their children, who search within and sometimes find the courage, the anger, the frustration to speak out, to act up, to stand before father, husband, brother and shout I MATTER AND I AM YOUR EQUAL, to all of you I think of you daily.  If thoughts have wings to find you and give you hope, if my vote and my small voice in my own country can aid you in your Sisyphean  task, they are yours.   

May your strength endure my sisters…